Wife %26amp; I separated, but back together now. She had walked out on me for the 3rd time. Turbulant Marriage and she never wanted to merge finances. My money was ours and her money was hers. After about year, we decided to try and make it work out. She came back and everything seems to be going well except for her bills. While she was gone, she ran up another credit card debt in her mothers name. Now she can閳ユ獩 make her bills.
Should I step in and help her out although she has taken advantage of me financially previously?
Also, she ran up my credit card 2 yrs. ago (in my name) and never made any payments, walked out and left me with the debts. I know were suppose to making it work out, but I閳ユ獫e been burnt so bad already. I am confused if I should allow myself to get burnt again. I閳ユ獡 still trying to trust her again. She wasn%26#039;t worried about debt in my name, why should I worry about debt in her mothers name. What should I do?
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
Do you think she%26#039;s ever going to learn her lesson if you keep bailing her out? I%26#039;m 25 yrs old, got myself into some credit card debt. I%26#039;m currently working at least 40 hrs a week and I put in overtime at least 10 hrs a week, if not more. It is MY responsibility to pay off the debt that I incurred. It%26#039;ll take time, but it%26#039;s something I need to do. I got myself into it, I have to get myself out of it.
Yes it%26#039;s hard to pay other bills. But that%26#039;s the price you pay.
I personally wouldn%26#039;t help her out. She%26#039;s how old? And she knows damn well that opening an account under someone else%26#039;s name is totally fraudulent. You WILL get burned again by her. She doesn%26#039;t seem to have learned lessons from the past especially. She did it to you once, then she did it to her mother, and now you want to set yourself up for it to happen again?
Well only you can really decide this. Something tells me that you%26#039;ll probably bail her out anyways in hopes of maybe getting your marriage back together. But let me tell you, loving someone doesn%26#039;t change a person%26#039;s bad habits or bad behaviors. Leaving them obviously doesn%26#039;t either, but it%26#039;s clearly an issue. If you want to HELP her, go with her to some financial planning or budgeting classes or something. Help her the right way by opening her eyes and letting her learn from her mistakes. Don%26#039;t bail her out....you%26#039;ll get burned again!
I wish you luck! I hope you do the right thing.
** ADD **
If you do pay her debts, how do you know she won%26#039;t do it again? I guess that%26#039;s the point I%26#039;m trying to make. And it%26#039;s time you two sit down and have a serious talk. About her situation financially, then maybe about how to start fixing it or getting help for it, maybe even doing some sort of program together. After all, nobody is perfect financially! And maybe, after you see how well it works for you two being together, maybe check on your marriage. But don%26#039;t rush it....baby steps!
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
All you can do is what your heart says..... nothing more..
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
if you feel the need to help her, do it. if not, don%26#039;t. i honestly wouldnt!
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
If the all the money this time is our money...then help. If she has come back and her money is still her money then NO WAY. If she cant help with the expenses then she should have to pay all of her own debt off.
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
Either you are going to make the marriage work.....and yes that means paying her bills...........or if you are still split with your feelings because of finances...........then end the marriage. It is either or............ nothing in between.
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
Well, Love does not ask why? And love is blind. if you are truly in with her then there should be no %26quot;me and her%26quot; rather there should be us. So see her as your self and solve her immediate problem after all, She is your wife!!
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
Speaking from experience that is remarkabley similar to yours, do not allow yourself to be responsible for her debts. You could spend a lot of years paying for it, literally and figuratively. Trust seems like something that has already been badly broken, so it should be earned back, and NOT with you giving her an opportunity to repeat the same behaviors. You can, however, observe how she takes care of her own finances, and make a judgement from that. What I am worried about is anything that is in both your names. IF there are accounts that list you both, get rid of them or take her name off the account. It sounds to me that 1) she doesn%26#039;t have any respect for property, hers or yours. and that 2) you need to value yourself a bit more. Basically, you are in charge of you. If you choose to be in charge of something over which you have no control, then you have to be ready to deal with the consequences of that. It is not your responsibility to make her responsible. She%26#039;s already an adult - the choice is hers. Just be careful that she doesn%26#039;t pull you down the drain with her.
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
She is taking advantage of you - she has in the past and she will do it again. If she left you and ran up a bill, she should pay it, not you. My husband had a credit card from a prior marriage, maxed out - I%26#039;m not paying his and his ex wife%26#039;s debt!!
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
Your wife has a money addiction. She%26#039;s ran up 2 cards in your name and 1 card in her mother%26#039;s name. It%26#039;s within your best interest to help her since, if she falls far enough behind, the credit card/collection agency will look to you too for payment because your married. Together go to financial counseling, cut up the credit cards and get on a plan to get out of debt. If she does it again after all this, divorce her.
Husband%26#039;s responsibility?
i wouldnt. she needs to learn.
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