Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

I know I%26#039;m going to get a lot of flack for this question. When my ex and I were together, we got a home equity loan to pay off all her credit cards (cause she was going crazy and using plastic as therapy), when we got married I insisted no credit card debt, so we had none, we were fine and she started spending the more depressed she got (becuase having 4 kids in a short time is stressfull etc) Anyway, she charged up to 60 grand in credit card debt, so I got a home equity loan, consolodated her debt and that was fine. She started cheating, racking up another 30k in debt, and we got divorced, she%26#039;s finling bancrupcy for the 30 k, but the 60k loan is in my name. When we got divorced, the judge ordered her to pay 1100.00 a month in %26quot;child support%26quot;, but it was ONLY for her loan, the lawyers classified it as child support since I said I didn%26#039;t need anything from her except for her to pay her loan. She agreed. Now she won%26#039;t pay. Should I not let her see the kids? I have custody.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

thats not fair for the kids

take her back to court

good luck

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

Just let her see the kids then threaten her saying that she won%26#039;t see the kids if she doesn%26#039;t pay the child support

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

Money is no reason to hurt the children, afterall that is who you will be hurting. Kids need both parents when possible and money is no reason to keep kids from either parents. Put the shoe on the other foot, would you like someone to keep your kids from you b/c of money. Don%26#039;t hurt those kids that way

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

Usually if a parent is not paying court ordered child support they are not entitled to visitation rights (the court must order it if you have court ordered visitations).... but its a crappy thing to do. It%26#039;s hurting the kid%26#039;s when this is done. I would threaten to cut down the amount of visitations but if you cut off all contact the kids will blame you when they are missing mom.

After reading the added info I now say don%26#039;t let her see them if you can get away with it and her not go to the courts complaining that you are keeping her from her kids. The whole fact that she can%26#039;t see her kids even if she wanted to might be enough to get her to realize she is going to have to pay. If she doesn%26#039;t then that%26#039;s something she will have to explain to her kid%26#039;s when they grow up. Don%26#039;t be surprised if her behavior affects the people your children grow up to be.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

that depends....is your children%26#039;s relationship with their mother worth only 1100.00 a month to you or is it not.i know its seems like it would make her pay up but in the end its the kids that pay when the parents start the tug of war with the kids over money.please think about it ........

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

You have no right to keep her from seeing the kids. First of all in most places that%26#039;s illegal, second , you are taking a financial issue between you and her and putting the kids in the middle of it. That%26#039;s absolutely inappropriate. Figure out a way to deal with this issue between you and her and the court if necessary, but keep the kids out of it.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

look it%26#039;s money--that%26#039;s all it is. Your kids are life... so would you choose money over life? Let them see her. But make it known to her you haven%26#039;t forgot about the $ just don%26#039;t let it control your, kids, and her life. it%26#039;s not worth it.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

What hell no you cant do that to the kids you know how sad they would be. expecialy since its there mother maybe if it was there aunt or uncle or something like that but not there mom. Just have a meeting with her and talk about it and ask her to pay littles at a time.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

Don%26#039;t take that law into your own hands. She%26#039;s doing you wrong. And two wrongs don%26#039;t make a right.

She has to pay as agreed. And if she won%26#039;t, then threaten her with court action.

If you withhold the kids from her, that will look bad against you before a judge.

Protect yourself. Keep yourself looking good legally. Let her look bad in front of the judge.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

the kids have nothing to do with your battles over money....let her see the children......call your lawyer and fight it out in court.....

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

you already know that it isnt the way to go.The kids didnt spend a dime of the money so they shouldnt have to pay for her mistake. The issues are seperate and you need to deal with them that way. The kids need to see mom and mom needs to see a lawyer

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

That would be punishing your kids for the sins of their mother. Unless she is a bad mother and is abusive to them, it%26#039;s not fair to them to keep them away from their mother. How would you like that. They will resent you, not her. She will become a saint in their eyes and you will be the mean one.

Eventually she will get hers if she skips enough. Have her held in contempt, have her license revoked and maybe they will give her some jail time. Deal with it with her, do whatever you have to do to her in court, but don%26#039;t use your children as a weapon, it%26#039;s not fair to them.

I don%26#039;t know where you are, but my husbands uncle just spent a month in jail for failure to pay child support. He was given many chances to pay, but so far hasn%26#039;t. He lost his license and had to go to jail. The child support will never go away. She may think it%26#039;s a big joke now, but it will catch up to her. If she is due a tax refund, the child support enforcement agency will take it and give it to you. Even when she retires. If she has arrearage, they will deduct it from her Social Security. You need to stay on top of it though. Maybe when she is facing jail time or actually does some she will change her tune. I%26#039;m in Ohio by the way.

Keeping the kids from her will only hurt your kids. If she is a selfish mother and only comes around when it is convenient for her, your children will come to that realization all on their own (sadly enough). If you stand in the way at all, you become the bad guy. As hard as it is, you have to seperate your children from your hatred of her and love them even more. They didn%26#039;t do this, she did.

Can%26#039;t you have her wages garnished?

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

Let me get this straight -you bailed her out two times and she hasnt paid.... now you want to use the children as blackmail to get the money from her.

First off no matter who spent the money -you got the loan, when you got it you accepted responsibility for it. With 4 kids certainly some of that money was spent on them, some on you and some on her.

By allowing the judge to call the loan child support she cant add this to her bankruptcy and maybe she simply can not pay it. $1100 is a lot of money to pay each month. Maybe you could lower the amount for a while or work with her so your children are not deprived of their Mother. Refusal to attempt to work with her shows you are truly only talking about the money and not what is in the best interests of your children.

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

you can%26#039;t do that to her. i know what you are going throw. the kids will only hurt and her to .looks like you have to talk to your lawyer about payment. for you to get your money

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

What state are some of you in - Because she is not paying child support is no reason to take visitation away - Yes, SHE NEEDS TO BE PAYING, but in Texas one doesn%26#039;t justify the other and is a violation of a court order, so you would be no better than she is. Sounds like she is a real winner - take her back to court for full custody. If you do decide to do that - you need to be DOCUMENTING everything to back you up in court. Such as missed visitations (dates and times) and the excuses she gave, phone calls (if any). missed payments, (although if theses payments are going thru the court, they will have records)

Good luck to you, but think about your kids, and trust me, they will eventually she her for the mother that she really is, and make up their own minds about her - she is just digging her own grave. Don%26#039;t keep your kids from seeing their mom, now if they don%26#039;t want to go, keep a positive attitude with them, and don%26#039;t belittle her, as you will look like the bad guy, and don%26#039;t make excuses for her, be honest with them about what is going on, without badmouthing her, you will see that you come out smelling like a rose in their eyes.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!

Ok, my ex owes me money, should I not let her see the kids?

THE STATE I LIVE IN CHILD SUPPORT IS TAKEN STRAIGHT FROM YOUR CHECK. MAYBE YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR LAWYER.

THE CHILDREN DO NEED THERE MOTHER DEPENDING ON WHAT AGE THEY ARE SOME MAY UNDERSTAND. THEY WILL NOT RESENT YOU IN THE LONG RUN. LET THEM KNOW WHO THERE MOTHER IS AND WHAT SHE IS DOING THAT IS ONLY FAIR. TELL THEM IT WILL HURT THEM BUT MAYBE THAT WILL WAKE HER UP.